The Protective GERE

According to unconfirmed reports Dilli Gorment has recently appointed Richard Gere as a one man committee to address the problems of Rag-Busters (The Delhi Rag-pickers Association). Rag-Busters have reportedly demanded protective gear from the gorment to save them from infections while rag-picking.

The gorment has said that it needs Rs. 300 for each of the 4500 rag pickers in dilli to provide protective gear. It has ushered in the services of Richard Gere, who enjoys the position of a serial kisser social worker in India to help raise funds as well as assist the rag pickers in their daily duties. Shilpa Shetty is reportedly joining him in the effort. She has said, that she would love to be a part of this noble cause as she hates filth. She will be sporting a specially designed old newspaper costume by Manish Malhotra at the event. Manish said," I have used special newspapers with Richard Gere kissing Shilpa, to keep him away this time around."

When asked, Mr. Kachra, waste minister of Dilli commented," Janta se anurodh hai, ke kachra kam karen aur Gire(Gere) ko sahara den!"

The big farse wedding strike

Big-Fat-Ass (Association of Big-Fat Tent Wallas of Delhi) has called for a three day bandh owing to the recent announcement banning lavish punjabi weddings in the city.
According to the announcement all weddings should be a simple affair without booze and non-vegetarian food.

The bandh is backed by Chicken-Mar (Chicken Market Association of Delhi) and MOTA (Mithai-Owners Trade Association). This bandh will affect all marriage functions, Pappu's birthday party and "The Big-Mithai Festival" to be inaugurated tomorrow.

All these associations have threatened to extend it into an indefinite strike if the decision is not reversed. Chicken-Mar especially has already stopped the supply of leg-pieces to the market.

This double blow by the association has already led to one casualty in the city. Mr. Harjinder Mullick could only utter the words,"Hey chicken..., Hey Chicken...", before collapsing one day prior to his great-great-grandson's big-fat wedding.
The Big-Mithai festival is also in danger of being swept off as most mithai merchants have reportedly pulled out. Not only that, they have created huge mounds of sugar on the event site causing quite a stir. Residential houses near the event site have reported sudden infestation of ants in their homes.

Mr. Doobe, our share and commodities market consultant has changed his rating on the sugar market from buy to sell, as he sees a sharp drop in sugar demand, owing to the strike.

Mr. Khote, our consultant lawyer very candidly commented,"Yahan murge ki jaan gayi, aur unhe shaadi ki padi hai!". He also said that the announcement has no legal bindings. He said,"The leaders can at-most make an appeal and pray that people follow."