Mcdonalds India has reportedly received a request for catering services in Tihar Jail. Jail authorities have expressed concern over the unhygienic food being supplied in the premises and requested McDonalds to take up the contract.
Mr. Hawaldar, Jailer, said ," We cannot control the rat population, and the kitchen equipment is clearly outdated. We see preparing food as a non-core activity and our managing committee has thus decided to outsource it."
According to the contract, twenty soft-drink vending machines have to be set up and maintained at strategic locations throughout the campus. The VIP wing, on the other hand, will get a regular supply of canned drinks, with mini-freezers being installed in alternate cells (as a cost cutting measure).
Two in-house kitchens are to be set-up for the whole exercise. One will be a Jain kitchen catering to the vegetarian convicts, and the other will cater to non-vegetarian convicts. Special additions to the menu include bun-maska, pav-bhaji and cutting masala chai. As a special gesture towards Tihar criminals the service will also include a packet of smokes with each meal. ITC has agreed to sponsor these packets of Wills Navy Cut.
In addition, the meals will now be delivered to individual cells. McDonalds is reportedly training its staff on roller-skates for operational efficiency.
Commenting on this unique promotion activity Mr.Dhua, AVP marketing, ITC, said,"This will help us gain precious customers, and will result in 100% conversion to our brand of cigarettes."
Mr. Alluka, Sr. VP McDonalds, said,"We are at the due-diligence stage and would not like to comment on market speculation."
Finally, on this move, Mr. Hawaldar commented," The committee thinks that
McDonalds will introduce international standards of hygiene and will
also help in improving the quality of food available to esteemed
convicts. We also expect to reduce our medical bills by 30% with this effort."
On the other hand we have learnt from reliable sources that this move is not for convict welfare, but due to terrorist threats. Possibility of a bun-scam cannot be overruled.
Mr. Hawaldar, Jailer, said ," We cannot control the rat population, and the kitchen equipment is clearly outdated. We see preparing food as a non-core activity and our managing committee has thus decided to outsource it."
According to the contract, twenty soft-drink vending machines have to be set up and maintained at strategic locations throughout the campus. The VIP wing, on the other hand, will get a regular supply of canned drinks, with mini-freezers being installed in alternate cells (as a cost cutting measure).
Two in-house kitchens are to be set-up for the whole exercise. One will be a Jain kitchen catering to the vegetarian convicts, and the other will cater to non-vegetarian convicts. Special additions to the menu include bun-maska, pav-bhaji and cutting masala chai. As a special gesture towards Tihar criminals the service will also include a packet of smokes with each meal. ITC has agreed to sponsor these packets of Wills Navy Cut.
In addition, the meals will now be delivered to individual cells. McDonalds is reportedly training its staff on roller-skates for operational efficiency.
Commenting on this unique promotion activity Mr.Dhua, AVP marketing, ITC, said,"This will help us gain precious customers, and will result in 100% conversion to our brand of cigarettes."
Mr. Alluka, Sr. VP McDonalds, said,"We are at the due-diligence stage and would not like to comment on market speculation."
Finally, on this move, Mr. Hawaldar commented," The committee thinks that
McDonalds will introduce international standards of hygiene and will
also help in improving the quality of food available to esteemed
convicts. We also expect to reduce our medical bills by 30% with this effort."
On the other hand we have learnt from reliable sources that this move is not for convict welfare, but due to terrorist threats. Possibility of a bun-scam cannot be overruled.
3 comments:
:) INTERAASHTING!
I think I should keep a tab on you now!
Haha... One of the better satire I've read in a while (does that reflect on the standards of satirical writing nowadays or just my limited reading? :P )
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